Well... it's been two weeks since the second miscarriage. Still numb, still sad, still angry... but still seeking out the Lord. This has been one of the most stressful times in my life... not to mention for the past 2 weeks I have been feeling nauseaous every single moment, of every single day. Plus, on the graphic side (I apologize if this is too much detail) but I am still bleeding. That has been going on for 21 days now and I feel like I am becomming anemic. I am more pale than usual, I am shaky all the time, stomach is upset all the time... not sure what to do. The doctor told me this "was normal" and that it will pass "in due time."
Brian and I have had a few discussions concerning what has been going on, which has helped. I find myself wondering if he will ever be at a point in his life where he will want children. He told me he was afraid to be a dad, but I'm afraid to be a mom too... I just hope that one day, he will tell me that he is ready... and I hope it isn't too far off... then again, the way my ovaries are, maybe he won't have to wait! Haha... since they are "overactive."
I have found "healing" in playing video games... well... ok... it isn't healing. It's more of a way to get my mind off of everything. It works though... although that can be stressful too because of how intence COD4 is.
School is almost over for us... well... for Brian. I start the new semester on May 5th. I have an online class and two in class ones starting up. Constitutional Law and Basic Statistics...
Although good at math... I HATE IT!!
I am going to try to get some rest... it seems as though that is one of the only things keeping my body going...
Thank you for those of you who have been praying... I have felt the love and compassion!
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About Me
- Misty
- Ann Arbor, MI
- I have been married since August 27, 2005. I have two kitties rescued from Hurricane Katrina. I have 2 heros... my mom and Brian. They are the most amazing people to me and have helped in so many ways. I guess you could say that Aunt Jane is a hero too. She is always there to help support us and is encouraging... you can tell her and mom are sisters!! I am a criminal justice major. I have received an associates degree in occupational studies in May of 2008 and have been awarded my associates degree in Criminal Justice. Now I attend Liberty University based out of Lynchburg, VA., majoring in what else, but Criminal Justice.
A wonderful memory
Great Friends
Tasty Flowers
Complete Awesomeness
My Love
1 comment:
Ok...I'm a stalker apparently (blush), but now you have the nurse in me coming out. First, if your not already doing it, you might want to start taking some iron to help build up new blood cells. Second, 21 days!!?? I'm sorry but that just does not sound right to me and I would personally ask for a second opinion. You DO sound anemic and it warrants something other than "give it time".
Lastly, I don't know of anyone who is not scared to become a parent. It's a huge life altering thing after all. {{Hugs}} I was ready long before Mike was too. Honestly, even after he gave the go ahead I know that he was still "not ready", but I suppose he's had LOTS of time to adjust to it by now (another story altogether though *sigh*)
{{Hugs}}, prayers, and apologies for stalking. Give yourself time to grieve and don't push it all down inside. Talk to God and talk to your husband. Remember, emotions are not the enemy because God created them too and He knows your heart.
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