It's been forever...

I know it has been forever since I have posted. Oops. Between work and school, I've just been getting by when it comes to time!

Everything is going well for us though. Brian is in the 3rd Phase of his training and will soon be by hisself. He is doing great from how it sounds so big kuddos to him.

Work for me is going really well. I have been transferred to another store that could "use some help." What that specifically means, I do not know, but am sure I will find out in the many days to come.

I have been thinking a lot about babies lately. It's been hitting me really hard because I have a lot of people asking me when Brian and I are going to have kids. Last night, we had "the talk." I don't know what to do. I am excelling in my work so much right now that I have to wonder if I want to or am ready to take a break doing that to have a child. Or, would I just not even go back to it and stay at home? I don't know!!

I have had so many emotions go through me that I am lost. I think back to the times I have been pregnant and wonder if that will happen again... a miscarriage that is. Or, was the timing bad and we just weren't ready? I don't know. Am I ready? Will I ever be "ready"????? I still am finishing up my 3rd degree... but what am I going to do with it when I am done? Will I go back to LP or move on to something different? I'm at the point to where I feel I am ready, but am I or is that just a  feeling that I have currently?

....Oye....

1st O/N shift.

He left.
He left for his first night on road patrol. After he pulled away, I realized just how much fear I have. I know (logically) that it is irrational... but is it? I am confident that God will protect him. But then, I question my faith. Do I really, with 100% faith, trust that God is going to protect him? Hm...

Brian's new career is allowing me to do some real soul searching. It's funny how I always say "God is in control." Do I let him be in control though? I guess I'm not fully worried about him being out on the road tonight... I think I'm more worried about him being too tired to drive on his way home.

God,
Although my faith feels weak right now, please protect my husband not only tonight, but every night he is on the road. I pray for his safety in travels as he leaves home and heads to Bay City. I pray for the same when he comes home. I pray too, that you use him to spread Jesus to those who are hurting. Protect him and his FTO tonight. I hope he is able to relax and enjoy himself tonight.


....

It's Official!

We got word last night that everything came through! Brian is now an officer for the Bay City Police Department!!!

He gets sworn in on Thursday, August 27th... our anniversary. :o)

I'll post pictures of him in his uniform once he gets them!

Congrats to my Hubbin...

We got a phone call this past Tuesday from Bay City Police Department. They have offered him what they call a conditional offer. Basically that means he will be given a position if he can pass a psychological exam and a medical exam. He goes in this coming Tuesday for both of those and uniform fittings after that. I do have to say that I am VERY proud of him and although it took a little longer than expected, he is happy too.

Once his medical/psychological exams come back, he will be given a "final" offer... which means he starts work. We've already searched the areas for places to live and actually found a house on 4 acres we are in love with. I'm sure by the time we get around to purchasing a home, that one will be off the market but it's great to know what we can look forward to.

I'll keep you updated if/when he gets the final offer. I keep saying "if" because I don't want to get my hopes up if something were to go wrong.

Our houseguest is gone. It's been a long few weeks. Brian and I have probably only had like 3 nights alone since moving into our new place, so it's going to be fun getting some alone time together here to explore everything. I'm glad we could provide a place for Mert to stay though... I'm sure it was easier for her to drive from here compared to where she lives. I tell you though, having 3 people here on 1 water bill is CRAZY compared to having 2 people. It doubled with one extra person! W O W...

I'm off... have a great night everyone!

I realized that everytime I update this... it's random. I think it's a fact that I am a pretty boring person...

Apologetics - A new found passion...

Random picture from 6/30/2009

The class I thought that was going to kill me, is actually not. It is a wondeful class that is really making me question why I am a Christian and what makes me who I am. I am able to ask myself, "why am I a Christian?" Is it because it was a popular thing people were doing at the time? I am able to see myself in a different light and it has just opened up my eyes greatly. Not only am I learning about myself, I am also learning about other world religions, including Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Scientology...etc. It's so interesting to see the difference in religions. I never thought I would be interested in such facts, but now that I am in the class, I am thankful for all I am learning. I never understood the whole idea behind apologetics, now I do.

I have realized that I am thankful for Liberty University. I enjoy being able to learn in setting where God is the center of the study. This university is really helping me see what kind of person I want to be. A career in Loss Prevention is something I have always wanted to do, however, after taking a few classes, I want to be able to do something that affects peoples lives. I want to be able to work with children who are hurting, lacking Jesus, committing crimes... I want to be able to reach out to them. Who knows what's in store for me now...

Ah!

Have you ever written a long post, only to hit "publish post" and have it disappear on you?!?!?

I hate technology sometimes.

2 pieces of news for you.
1. We are all moved into our new apartment and it is FABULOUS!
2. Tomorrow is my last day working at National City Bank.

Scary times ahead but I'm excited for new beginnings this creates!

If I were Jesus...

That was the topic at church on Sunday. It was finished by "I would LOVE."

1 Cor 12:31 says, "And now I will show you the most excellent way." Our pastor translated the word "way" as a path or a roadway.

1 Cor 13 states (yes you can read it for yourself, but here is a reminder of what it is):
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."

I'm not trying to preach the bible to anyone, but as many times as I read this verse, I still get more and more truth out of it. I felt convicted when I was listening to the sermon at church. Pastor Ken talked about how in the King James Version of the Bible, LOVE is not mentioned once. Instead, the word charity is used. Charity was described as "action oriented love."

Wait... action orientated love? That means I have to act? Sadly, that is something that I have not been doing lately. I let my emotions rule who I am on a daily basis and rule my actions. Woah.

1 Cor 14 starts off by saying, "Follow the way of love..."
1 Cor 16:14 says, "Do everything in love."

To finish this out, one last phrase said best by Pastor Gilmore.

Love is not an option for us, it's an ought.

(think about that one on a daily basis)

RIP Chase

My mom had to put her cat down today. Chase was 17 years old and lived a great life. I remember when I was almost 9 years old, we walked to the neighbors house to look at the kittens his cat just had. Of course, my brother and I made a huge stink for my mom because we wanted to take one home, where mom wasn't so interested in that idea. Well, Shawn and I won the argument and Chase came home with us. She was such a friend...

I just got off the phone with my mom, who is understandably upset, and I can't help but think of the time that I will have to do that, or my kitties would leave me. That's sad! My coworker said, "it's just a stupid cat, why is she so upset?" Well, she has been with it for 17 years and after my brother and I moved out, Chase was what she had left. That and I know when mine pass away, it will be devastating because they are like my children. I love them so much and they are a joy to have. Chase will be missed and please keep my mom in your prayers. She is having a HORRIBLE time with this...

Guess the Decision is made!

We went to Southport Apartments yesterday and filled out the application. The apartment is going to be $35 cheaper than we originally anticipated, which was a nice little surprise. If we are "approved" for it (which we find out on Tuesday or Wednesday) we have to take in a security deposit and non refundable fee for the pets. These apartments are really nice but I just have a weird feeling about it. I think part of it is the fact that we will both still be working in Ann Arbor and since my job is only part time, it might end up hurting us in the long run. We move June 26th... Here is a pic of what our apt looks like... (for once, we are on a first floor)

I have some job prospects that are coming up for me which could be a blessing. They are for retail loss prevention. I've always wanted to stop fraud and theft and stuff but never thought about doing it on a retail level. I was really interested in doing it for banking because I have a good eye for fake money or bad checks or shaddy accounts or even internal theft. Maybe this would be a good match for me... who knows. The only thing that would suck about it is no more banking hours. I tell you one thing, being a banker does have its perks!!

Here's a pic of my kitties... they are so fun... They get into these ninja fights all the time.

Here is the Kitty Ninja trick "Slap & Go"

Dane & Faren

On May 16th, Brian and I went to his cousin's wedding. It was a great wedding and lots of fun times were had. Here are a few pics I took... they aren't that good but I thought I would still share.

Such a happy couple!
The power of PRAYER...

Funny story time. It was a great story on how Dane proposed to Faren then she made him do it all over again so she could get it on tape! :o)

O' Happy Day!

This was at the end of the funny story.

Moving Soon?

June is going to be an eventful month for the Wilson household. I am taking my vacation June 26th-July 2nd (My job is making me come in on Friday the 3rd).

• June 22: Michelle (Brian's sister) moves in with us for about 6 weeks to take Masters classes at U of M.
• June 26-July 2: My vacation.
• June 26: MOVE (not sure where yet but thinking Southport Apartments in Belleville).
• June 28: Take Javel to camp.
• July 3: Pick Javel up from Camp.
• July 4: Mike and Shannon Wedding

As you can see, it's going to be a very full few weeks.

School is going swell. I'm starting week two for classes but have done almost 6 weeks worth of work. At the end of June, I am going to be starting a philosophy class and am petrified to do so. I felt the same way about my humanities class I am in now, but philosophy just seems different. I have to write a paper and I don't like writing papers. I have to write about the gospel and how it compares to a cult or some other topic we discuss in class. Boo. I am really liking Liberty though. It's a funny feeling when you have 2 college degrees, no job that reflects them, and they do nothing for me where I am right now. Haha. Maybe I can do something with them soon and have my pay reflect it.

Financial Peace University with Dave Ramsey is going well. We are hoping to have all of our debt paid off within the next 2-3 years. If we stick to the plan, we will be golden... even after student loans start. If I can find a full time job, it will be better and everything would be paid off sooner! If you have debt and feel like there is no way out of it, I definitely recommend doing this study. It costs about $90 for the kit that comes with DVDs, online information, workbook, reading text... it's just a great study that makes you realize how you waste your money and how you stop bad habits!

Mothers Day...

This is one of the worst holidays for me. No, it's not because I am unthankful for either of my moms (birth and mother in law) but more because of what I lack at this point. I know you all have heard the stories before but I miscarried twins June 9th of 2007 and miscarried again April 9th of 2008. Today, that would make me a mom. I would be celebrating with my children, but nope, that wasn't the plan for today.

I find today to be extremely hard because having children is something I really want. I want to be able to encourage and discipline, to love and to care for someone who is mine. I try not to be selfish on a day like today, but jeez, it's hard. On days like today, I think about where we would be if they were here. What we would be doing...etc.

I'm not happy about the miscarriages, but I believe everything happens for a reason and am thankful in a weird way because I want Brian to have a job first and us to be established. Maybe that's selfish too...

I don't know. I'm pretty much venting right now. I just am having a hard time today...

Mother

A Few Updates

We never heard anything from Grand Rapids, so at this point, we are assuming Brian did not get a position at this time. We will continue to wait and see what the future holds!

The college where Brian took the police academy posted a VIDEO of them and Brian is the still shot in the beginning and is also the recruit doing all the shooting. The video turned out really good!

I came home yesterday to a surprise waiting for me on the counter.

He is sooooo sweet! I love him so much!

In June, we will be moving. Where? I don't know. Our lease is up and our complex will not allow us to do a short term lease. I have called almost all the complexes within a 30 mile radius and most do not allow short term leasing or if they do, the rent goes from $600 to $850-900 for short term. Eek! We are praying about what we are to do, and are confident in God's plan. Brian did a few ride a longs and one was with the Lapeer County Sheriff's office. Sheriff Kalanquin said he wanted Brian to do the reserves and also the Marine Police this summer. I guess that is mostly a weekend job. Who knows where we will end up... because I surely don't know!

Work is going well. I really like my managers. I have never felt this good about my manager where I currently work and I like it. I like going into work because they are nice and actually care about me as a person as well as a worker. I went and trained some other tellers today at another branch and it felt good to be able to do that. It was great knowing that my hard work is going to help others. When I got back to my branch, one of my coworkers seemed upset that I was asked to do this training. There are times that I do not like what I do but I really do like helping others to success. Maybe one day I'll be a trainer.... who knows...

We were supposed to head up to Lapeer this weekend, but that got cancelled due to Chris not being able to come home. He will be home next weekend, and sadly, that is one of the last times we will see him and Christina (and lil' Christopher) until they come back to visit or we go there to visit. We'll miss you two!!

I started a new work out routine I saw on TV. I have done it for only 2 days now and can already feel the results and even can even physically see them. Granted, it is minute but I can tell the difference. My jeans even fit differently... and that is a great feeling!

Gotta go, we are going to the dollar theater to watch Mall Cop!

Still Waiting...

We found out last week that the job offers for Grand Rapids were delayed about a week... which would put us into this week. We are hoping to hear something today or in the next few days. Brian went on a ride a long 2 weekends ago and he had a blast. If offered a position, I think we will go there sometime this weekend to start looking at apartments. I have a few in mind that would be good for us, but we are going to check out a lot of complexes before we choose one. We moved into Spicetree without looking around and have found that these are not the best for us.

It's hard being on pins and needles waiting. I know in my heart that God has everything planned out in His ways, but it's the not knowing that is getting to me. Brian said yesterday he was anxious and has a knot in his stomach. Me too. This week has the potential to be a really good week.

It's Official...

I have officially graduated college ... twice.

This was the first degree I "received" in May, but didn't actually get until September.

Here is the newest edition that I picked up today. It's my favorite one! CRIMINAL JUSTICE BABY!!

It's weird because I feel like I have gotten nothing accomplished. We will see what the future holds. I'm sure happy God knows what He is doing because I sure as heck don't!!

We will be finding out sometime this week if Brian gets a conditional job offer for Grand Rapids. The "conditional" part means that after he is offered a job, he will have to go in for medical/physical testing and a psychological test. Once he passes this, he will be able to be offered an actual position. We are hopeful, but again, we know that if it is in God's will for us to go out there, we will. It seems like it would be a positive thing for us...

I'll keep you posted!

Sick of Being Sick

For the past few weeks to few months, something has been going on with me. I have been having a lot of weird sick spells. I am wondering if I have a new food allergy or if something is going on with my stomach. I will have random periods of feeling fine, then boom, I'm feeling nauseated. I'll wake up in the morning, boom, sick again. I'll be driving somewhere... then boom... I'm sure you are getting the hint. I don't want to go to the doctor because I'm tired of hearing "nothing is wrong." Whatever...

February is almost over. Brian and I have been talking a lot about the future and what it has to hold for us and we are thinking that if he doesn't have a police officer position when our lease is up (June), we are going to be moving... probably to Brighton. They have some really big apts that are as much as we pay now. I admire him in all he is doing to find a job. I think he is at 25 applications sent out. I'm still hopeful for Grand Rapids. I think it would be a good place, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much. Whatever is going to happen will happen in God's timing.

I'm in the FUBR clan now for COD World at War. I know... I'm a geek but I have come to realize that is OK. There have been so many times that I have put my wants and desires on the back burner to help out others, and taking a few hours out each night to do something I want is invigorating! I am very happy about where I am and haven't felt a lot of guiltiness in wanting to do things that I want to do. I'm beginning to feel like a whole new person.

Last Day

Today is the last day my branch will be open. This day is full of saddness and joy all at the same time. Although we (my coworkers and I) have our issues, we are still family and breaking up is hard. It's always a hard thing to do. We finally all know where we are going, so that is nice... I start my new branch tomorrow. We have a lot of loyal customers that are deeply saddened by us closing but as I like to say, "you've got to do what you've got to do."

Brian is still filling out applications like crazy. I'm stressing out a little bit because this economy is SUCKING and I fear him finding a job will not happen. I know deep down that it is only my fear that is saying that. Brian is very good at what he does.

Liberty classes are going well. I am half way done with my 2 classes this semester. I think I will do ok... although who knows. I hate government and I have 2 of those classes to take.

I have a lot to update about, just no time since I am at work... I'll try to update later.

My Rant

Ok... I'm only going to write a few sentences, then expound on them later.

I have a lot of anger inside of my heart for a certain reason. You can complain all you want about what I am about to write... I'm not changing how I feel...

I think that Christians who voted for Barack Obama are hypocrites... why? Because we as Christians shouldn't support a man who is now taking our tax dollars to fund "planned parenhood" places in foreign countries so women can kill their unborn children. Don't have sex = not having children. I understand there are situations where things happen... ie rape... and believe me, I know frustration when it comes to that, but you have to think... these are INNOCENT children who did not ask to be created. People say children aren't "children" until they have breathed in one breath of air after they have been delivered... I believe it's when they are conceived... HELLO!! They have a heart beat!! To those people who believe in the breathing of the air, tell me this... how is it then possible for people to have a pulse (HEARTBEAT) but not be breathing!?? Hmmm.... Is it now ok to kill those people without being charged with murder?

I'm so frustrated with people.. I understand we "made history" by having a black president... and I'm happy our society is at a place where we can now have that... but having Obama?? Seriously?? Hey! Our country is in major debt to where we have to borrow money from China... we have problems here in our own country... but lets send our tax dollars to another country... SMART...

Transferring

I found out today that when my branch closes next month, I will be transferred to our Downtown branch. That is a TON of weight lifted off of my shoulders!!

Keep your fingers crossed for Brian!! He has an interview in GR next Friday... job offers come March 16th if they like him!! :o)

God is Good

Guilty. That's what I feel. Why? Because for Christmas, I got about $200 in Best Buy giftcards and I spent them on myself. Every year for holidays, I usually get quite a few of them, but I usually turn right around and spend them on other people. Brian told me this year was to be different... I did spend it on myself like a week ago, and still feel guilty!! Haha... I'm a weirdo!

I interviewed at another National City today. It's so funny that I have to interview for my own job, especially since it isn't my fault that my branch is closing. When we found out it was closing, we were all promised out jobs when we closed. Well... there are a few of us from my branch trying to get this ONE spot... the manager at the new branch said that quite a few branches would be cutting back on staff... That raises a question... "What happens to those of us who won't get the position at this ONE branch??" I don't know. The manager asked about the other girl who is in line for the position. I was honest with her. V is an amazing person to work with and I spoke highly of her. Some of you may be thinking, Why on Earth would she praise her competition?? Well... because #1, she is my friend. #2, I can't say anything bad about her... she is SO flipping funny! #3, this year, I'm not going to bash anyone... well... wait... I'll try not to bash anyone. So far, I've done pretty good!

Brian is supposed to find out his test results from Grand Rapids today. I'm excited, because I feel so peaceful about going that way. It would be hard to be even further away from family and friends, but God is good. He is faithful and doesn't give us anything we can't handle.

My stress level has been through the roof again. I am not quite sure why. I start classes again. One of my profs sent us an email telling us this is going to be the hardest class we take at Liberty (which is funny, because most of my teachers have always said that about their own classes). Anyways, she sent the email stating we needed to log into blackboard to get our first assignments... and blackboard is down for a few more days yet. That sucks! I will have a few late nights trying to get ready for the first assignment... we have to write a HUGE BIG NASTY term paper...

Let it be known: I HATE TERM PAPERS!


I have really been missing relationships lately. I desire to show more of my heart (Godly) to people and still have a shield around it. I want people to see what God has done in me and work through me. My bible is going to be my new best friend this year. I want to learn more and more about Him and use my new learnings in every day life!

One last thing... for those of you who are of the praying kind. My co-worker has been stressed out a little bit lately. Her ex-boyfriend had a stroke a few days ago. I think he is close to 24 years of age. His family lives in Detroit (about 30 mins from here) and they won't come see him or spend time with him. It's all on my friends shoulders to take care of him and make sure he is still doing ok. He did get released today on lots of medication and his family still wont come to see him... because it's "too far away." Please pray for him and for my coworker.

Thanks and have a great day!

Grand Rapids??

Brian tested in Grand Rapids yesterday. If he passes (which we will find out today) he will go back next week for an interview; and then conditional job offers are sent out March 16th (I think). They are hiring 14 people and there are over 400 applicants. If we had to move there, I don't think I would mind because the cost of living (houses) are much cheaper over there. It would just be difficult being away from family when we decide to have children.

I start classes at Liberty University next week. Scary... funny though because my classes aren't showing up online yet... i hope everything gets worked out so I get everything I need!

My hours at work have been cut. I worked 35-40 hours a week for the past 1.5 years, now I am at 20... no warnings... no nothing. Ah well... it's all in Gods hands!

Welcome Baby Herr

Chris & Christina gave birth to Christopher Paul Herr II on December 27th!

Welcome to the group little man!!

And CONGRATULATIONS to the new parents!

:o)