Brian came home from work yesterday to tell me one of our friends is now pregnant. WoW. I am so happy for them, as I know they have been wanting children, however my heart is hurting. I realized that if I wouldn't have had another miscarriage, that I would be preggo with her. The emotions I feel cannot be expressed in words. I hurt. I hurt so bad. I spent all of last night crying. Jealousy? No... Anger? yes... but not towards our friends... more towards God for what he has put me through a second time. I do not feel as though my emotions have started to level out yet. I honestly don't know if I can even look at my friends right now, only because of how much it hurts! That sounds so selfish... I know. I'm sure many of you are thinking, "gee... just get over it," but sadly it isn't that easy.
I am hoping I get better soon. I am hoping that I can get past all of this to let them know how happy I am for them. I want them to feel my support, and caring side... I just need to shake my own self. This morning, I have started to "stuff" the emotions. I know this is probably not the best thing to do at the moment, but given what is coming up this week/weekend/next week, I must. I need to forget how I feel about myself and ask the God that I am not too happy with to help me get through the next 7 days.
SO... if you are reading this, which I have a feeling you may paruse this, Congrats. I truly am happy for you. I just hope you are able to see that through what I am going through...
Love you guys...
For the rest of you... No I will not tell you who it is!
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About Me
- Misty
- Ann Arbor, MI
- I have been married since August 27, 2005. I have two kitties rescued from Hurricane Katrina. I have 2 heros... my mom and Brian. They are the most amazing people to me and have helped in so many ways. I guess you could say that Aunt Jane is a hero too. She is always there to help support us and is encouraging... you can tell her and mom are sisters!! I am a criminal justice major. I have received an associates degree in occupational studies in May of 2008 and have been awarded my associates degree in Criminal Justice. Now I attend Liberty University based out of Lynchburg, VA., majoring in what else, but Criminal Justice.
A wonderful memory
Great Friends
Tasty Flowers
Complete Awesomeness
My Love
1 comment:
So sorry your heart is hurting Misty. :( I will be praying for you. I pray God will show where he is in all of this.. because I know his heart breaks for you too. He knows that you are going through, and also knows the wounds will bring forth greater victory for future things to come. Jesus is near he feels your pain.. Your not alone.
Love you dear.
Melanie
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